This is an old -fashioned problem: "I want a child, he doesn’t want it." If you and your husband are arguing if you want a child, I will sympathize with this., But it is difficult for him to respond to whether he has such an idea.
There is no simple answer in this matter, but men do have some common fear.Understand what their fear is, and how to respond, it will help you understand each other’s point of view and make decisions suitable for everyone.
However, it is important to remember that his opinions are as important as your opinions. Under any circumstances, you should not consider "deceiving" him to complete your thoughts.
If you are looking forward to a child, you may "forget" taking medicine, especially when you think he will be a good father, but you need to be "forced" to act.
If you do this, no matter how you try to defend it, you still have deceived him. A healthy family foundation should be based on trust, not deception.
1. "I’m too young, I can’t settle down, I still want to continue the life of the two -person world"
How old is he?Maybe he is too young, maybe both of you are too young.Ask yourself really young?Are you urging him for no reason?Can you wait for a few years?
If you are worried about your fertility age, you really think that the time is not much, and calmly explain the reason to him.Men can still have children in their 70s, so maybe his creature bells are not as loud as you.Remind him that the older you are, the more difficult it is to get pregnant, and the more dangerous production is.One way to let him understand that loves you is not to put you in danger at any time.
2. "I’m too old, I don’t want to look like a grandfather"
Point out the benefits of being a more mature parent.Let him rest assured that the children don’t care how big their father is. As long as he loves them and is interested in their lives, pushing Qiuqian or reading the story of bedtime has nothing to do with age.
Older father is usually smarter and more patient with children, which is more important than being able to run a marathon with them.
3. "My friend tells me that a baby is terrifying"
New dad likes to use horror stories about babies to scare their friends.Sleeping nights, endless crying is real enough, but they will not continue forever.However, he won’t believe you, so he needs to let his friends correct him.
Tell them that your husband has been scared, so that they will not talk about these things in front of your husband, and let them bring a few baby photos when they meet next time.Go to experience.
Fourth, "I’m not ready yet, don’t talk anymore"
Tell him that you know that having a child is a major decision. Of course, you don’t want to force him to do this, but you need to have a time plan for the birth of a child.Don’t let him think you are just entangled with him, he is right, and he really does not work repeatedly.
You can’t urge him to have children, so now that you have already showed your views, you promise to stop talking about having a child within a few months.In return, he must guarantee that once the agreed time passes, he must sit down and discuss it carefully.
5. "We are so happy, children will divide your care for me"
Tell him that you love him and enjoy your current life, but having a child will make you happier, and it will also bring you great fun.Try to listen to his point of view.
Giveting children will indeed completely change your life, and the initial changes may be difficult.He may be afraid that you will focus on this child so, and you will ignore him.Explain to him that although a child may make you busy, it will not stop your love for him.It is guaranteed to him that love will not be exhausted, and you will have enough emotions to meet the needs of the two of them.
6. "We have no money, raising a child will spend a lot of money"
This is a fair point of view, so don’t ignore it.Don’t say "Oh, don’t worry about money, children don’t have to spend too much money", tell him that you have the same ideas, but you think you can let it run.Then sit down with him and explain carefully how you think you can do this without liability.If he can see that you are treating practical problems seriously, he will also treat you more seriously and make money with you.
Seven, "I already have a child, I don’t want to ask anymore"
If he has a child in the previous relationship and has always said frankly that he does not want more children, then you can do nothing.You can explain to him how you want to have a child to live together.
But looking forward to changing his mind is unfair.On the contrary, focusing on what you already have.His child may not be your biological flesh, but you still have a very important position in their lives.
Children can bring huge love and satisfaction. If you always secretly think "I want a child of my own", you may not feel these positive things.
Want a child will affect your entire relationship, so you need to talk frankly about your future, and whether you can find a compromise that will not make one of you unhappy.
8. "I changed my mind, I don’t want it now, what’s wrong?"
Everyone has the right to change their minds, but you also have the right to be disappointed, especially if he has made you believe that he really wants children.
You have to tell him the truth and let him know how sad you are.Tell him that you have some serious ideas to do.
Unless you can fully accept his decision, you can see that you live together happily without a child, you may need to consider how far you can go in a life without a child.
Ignoring differences will lead to the resentment of him in the future, and now it is not too late.You should spend time making some decisions.
The above is most of the general husband’s general thoughts about fear of having children. I hope these suggestions can help you.